i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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