I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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