so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
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Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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