He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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