The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
