Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize