i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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