I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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