I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
