I want to walk on stilts...naked
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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