so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
time to smoke my breakfast
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
