yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
