I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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