Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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