I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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