did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
