Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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