i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
