And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
