Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
