I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
