He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
