I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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