So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I supernannyed him into submission
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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