Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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