why didn't you poke me back
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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