so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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