I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize