i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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