at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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