i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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