my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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