i came on her dog
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
