so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
