i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
