i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
