so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
