No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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