Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
