We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
