Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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