I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize