you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
