i don't like sucking hair
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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