its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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