I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
