Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
