i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
