Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
