First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
