and you said cock pushups were impossible
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
