i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
