I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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