we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
