Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
