I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
