I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
