I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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