Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize