I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
