So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize