awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize