Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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