I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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