i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
